


Heaven's What I Feel

by orphan_account



Category: Chronicles of Narnia - All Media Types
Genre: Drabble, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Voyage of the Dawn Treader, but that song was stuck in my head and I needed a title, in which Edmund is confused, this could be AU but there's literally no plot alterations other than Edmund having feelings, title is quite honestly irrelevant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-28
Updated: 2015-10-28
Packaged: 2018-04-28 14:12:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5093684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was never supposed to happen.<br/>To be honest, he had no idea when it had begun.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Heaven's What I Feel

**Author's Note:**

  * For [flufffy.phan on instagram](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=flufffy.phan+on+instagram).



It was never supposed to happen.   
To be honest, he had no idea when it had begun.   
All he knew was that one minute, he had looked at the other boy and seen nothing but a stupid, petulant boy.  
The indescribable feeling in the pit of his stomach had been nothing but anger, the thoughts of the other that plagued his mind fuelled only by fury.

He was more than happy to leave it that way.

But then, Eustace had to go and ruin it all.  
He did the thing they had all wanted him to do - he changed.  
Gone was the whiny, stubborn boy,   
gone were the complaints and the utter selfishness.

And in their place was a kind boy, not a perfect one. No, he wasn’t perfect.   
But he was considerate. Helpful. Better. 

And when it happened, it wasn’t like in a poem or a story.  
There was no life changing, slow motion moment.  
He didn’t look at him and feel the earth move.

At first, he didn’t even notice.  
The sinking feeling in his stomach whenever he saw the other boy became flipping, and butterflies and fluttering.

The thoughts of his cousin that followed him like his own shadow became different, no longer controlled by hate.  
They became softer, sweeter - more dangerous.

It was wrong, Edmund knew that much.   
Not for the fact that they were both boys, but their sharing the same blood,  
the same family.

And then there was the night on the ship,  
when the moon was full above them and the deck empty around them.  
The waters calm, the deep blue waves reflecting the moonlight more beautiful than almost anything Edmund had ever seen.

They had sat on the deck for hours, late into the night and early into the morning as the world seemed to slow to a halt around them, time stopping just for them with the moon and the stars shining brightly down on them.

They kept silent, and though the glistening moonlight made the waves look like liquid crystals,   
Edmund was content to watch the way the rising moon shone on Eustace,  
seemingly giving him a halo, making his eyes shine in a way that, before then, Edmund had believed existed only in romantic poetry and the minds of teenage girls with overly romantic notions.

And watching him, Edmund allowed himself to fantasise.   
Allowed his mind to drift to a world where he could hold his cousin in his arms, and kiss him softly and hold his hand.  
But as the moon began to fall and the sun began to rise, Edmund had to let his fantasies drift away.  
His cousin would grow to be a man, a smart one - would probably get into a University, and marry a pretty girl.   
And as for Edmund - he would just have to face the truth.  
He would never be with Eustace.

**Author's Note:**

> If you're actually reading this and you're not cyan then what the heck I didn't actually expect people to read this random crap that just came out of my brain in the middle of maths class


End file.
